Akatsuki Chatroom
by The Legendary Kanin
Summary: The akatsuki gang gone crazy! They start to put computers in the base! And they have their own chatroom! See what they have put with ther craziness! None of the akatsuki have died.
1. Chapter 1

Gaigai: Yo people!!! This is my first try to make a humor fic. It is actually just a chatroom-like blah of some sort. Ehehehe.

Deidara: Ehem, gaigai, what the hell are you going to do? Are you going to hurt me for the first time?

Gaigai: No, Dei-kun. I do not wish to make fun of you for now. But maybe later I can add you in another fic, ok?

Deidara: Ok, gaigai, un. I know you don't really like yaoi so I think I am safe from your yaoi preferences, un.

Gaigai: I read yaoi fics, you should know. I even love some of them.

Deidara: EH???? OoO.

Gaigai: Good God... I won't hurt you, ok? Well, that is, maybe not yet.

Deidara: sigh Yeah, thanks, un.

Gaigai: Well, Dei-kun, will you do the disclaimer???

Deidara: Ok, gaigai!!! Simplygaigai here does not own Naruto and does not want to own it for some weird reason. Well, on with the show, then!!!

Akatsuki Patootee

_IAmNotPiNoCChIO__ joined the room_

_BeWaReOfMyEyes__ joined the room_

_LoLliPupFace__ joined the room_

_MarsFlytrap__ joined the room_

_MouThWash__ joined the room_

_PHISH joined the room_

PHISH: Hey is anyone here?

MouThWash: Duh, PHISH. Like the f anyone won't be in this shtt place.

LoLliPupFace: Hey has anyone seen Deidara-senpai?

MarsFlytrap: Haven't seen him, lolli. Try asking his danna.

LoLliPupFace: OK!!! Thanks Zetsu-san!!!

PHISH: Hey where's Itachi?

IAmNotPiNoCChIO: Gone of to eat breakfast. Why are we wasting energy to chat, by the way, when we can just talk?

PHISH: 'Chat' is a friendly talk. 'Talk' is irritation in four words.

LoLliPupFace: Sasori-san, where is Deidara-senpai?

IAmNotPiNoCChIO: He's still asleep. And I think 'Chat' is just synonymous to 'Talk'.

PHISH: Killjoy.

IAmNotPiNoCChIO: I know.

BeWaReOfMyEyEs: We have eggs and ham for breakfast again.

PHISH: What? But we've had that set of food for two months already!!! Can't that stupid female member cook anything?

LoLliPupFace: Konan-chan is not stupid, Kisame-san. Tobi thinks she's even smart.

MarsFlytrap: Konan sure knows how to cook, then.

BeWaReOfMyEyes: It has orange juice for drinks.

Mouthwash: Damn that btch. Can't she do anything else other than that busht origami?

IAmNotPiNoCChIO: Stop swearing in the chatroom, Hidan. Don't insult the Leader's right hand.

Mouthwash: She's the damned whore queen of the damned.

PHISH: If that's her name, then we should be the damned, right?

Mouthwash: Damn.

PHISH: Got that one, Listerine. The moderator's so gonna kick your ass.

Mouthwash: Like I fing care.

BeWaReOfMyEyes: Do you even know who the moderator is, Hidan?

Mouthwash: A fed-up person who doesn't know how to punish bad guys?

MarsFlytrap: Konan is our moderator, Hidan.

Mouthwash: What the fk!

_PaperRoses__ joined the room_

PaperRoses: I thought I saw a great counter of profanities here.

MarsFlytrap: points to Hidan

IAmNotPiNoCChIO: points to Hidan

BeWaReOfMyEyes: points to Hidan

PHISH: points to Hidan

Mouthwash: This does not look good.

PaperRoses: It sure doesn't, you little dirty mouth. I better stuff you with Listerine.

_Mouthwash left the room_

_PaperRoses__ left the room_

LoLliPupFace: Where'd Hidan-san and Konan-chan go?

MarsFlytrap: Probably went to the dentist

LoLliPupFace: Why?

PHISH: I can't believe you didn't understand that, Tobi.

IAmNotPiNoCChIO: Where is Deidara when we need him?

PHISH: Why do we need him now?

MarsFlytrap: To let Tobi shut up.

BeWaReOfMyEyEs: Can't anyone else do that for Deidara?

IAmNotPiNoCChIO: No. The only one Tobi chases to make fun of is Deidara, and since Deidara is hiding somewhere, then lollipup face is left with us for babysitting.

PHISH: Man, can we just stick a fish at his mouth?

BeWaReOfMyEyEs: No. He might end up like Hidan...You know, the bad words and the halitosis.

MarsFlytrap: He has halitosis? How come I can't smell it?

PHISH: Duh, I never knew plants could smell.

IAmNotPiNoCChIO: That's exactly the point. Zetsu's the only aside from Kakuzu who gets at least one foot near Hidan when he's speaking. Everyone else goes a kilometre away.

LoLliPupFace: Poor Hidan-san...

_GimmeUrMoolah__ joined the room_

GimmeUrMoolah: Backstabbing is not good. If you don't want me to let Hidan go near you, give me 1,000 bucks each.

LoLliPupFace: I don't have money anymore, Kaku-san.

IAmNotPiNoCChIO: Do you accept credit cards?

GimmeUrMoolah: Ok.

BeWaReOfMyEyEs: What about check?

PHISH: Or COD?

GimmeUrMoolah: Anything, as long as I get the money sooner or later.

MarsFlytrap: Hey everyone AkECO said we will have a power disruption anytime now.

LoLliPupFace: **Ak**atsuki**E**lectronic**CO**rporation?

MarsFlytrap: Yup.

COLOSSAL SHUT DOWN

(At Itachi's room)

Itachi: Kuso, my Pineapple© Notebook shut down.

(At Kisame's)

Kisame: Well, good thing I have full batteries. Hey!!! All the others are signed out!!! Darn it!!

(At Sasori's and Tobi's room)

Tobi: Ah...

Sasori: Yeah, and that's why Deidara has three mouths.

Tobi: Wow!! Deidara-danna was a hand fetish?

Sasori: sweatdrop_Damn I have to say the story all over again..._

(At the master room)

Konan: Pein, don't kiss me there!! It's ticklish!!

Pein: Then maybe you want it here?

Konan: Gaud!! Not there!!!

(At the garden)

Zetsu: This is the pitcher plant, one of my relatives.

silence

Zetsu: Yes, Rose. This is your relative-in-law, my dear Rose.

silence

Zetsu: I love you, Rose. kisses the rose flower

(In the dentist's clinic)

Hidan: NO DON'T PUT THAT FCKING TOOTHBRUSH NEAR ME, MOERFUER!!!

OWARI

This is one of my very hard attempts to make a humor fic, which I am not really good at. So if you weren't able to laugh, just flame me. If you giggled, review to me. Criticise me all you want, ok?


	2. Chapter 2

Kanin: Hello again, people! It's been long, ne? Well, thanks for the wait- here is the second chapter of the Akatsuki Chatroom~

Deidara: Am I here already?

Kanin: (checks chapter outline) Hmm...Deidara, Deidara, Deidara..

Deidara: Hey! Don't tell me~

Kanin: Ah! Here it is! (raises finger) Wait...NO it isn't...

Deidara: Grrrrr... Don't tell me you forgot me again, un!

Kanin: (scratches head) Er...aw...come on, Dei-chan. I can insert you or~

Deidara: (lets a clay bird perch on the chapter outline) Katsu!

Kanin: What the hell! You!

Deidara: (runs farther from Kanin) Now include me in the story, un!

Kanin: Wahh! Anyway, standard disclaimer applies~

Deidara: (from afar) The "Legendary" Kanin here does not own Naruto...wait...is that an Itachi plushie I see???

Kanin: Wait, no!!!

(Crash! Bam! Bang! Boom! Wah!)

Akatsuki Chatroom

_MarsFlytrap joined the room_

_PHISH joined the room_

PHISH: Hey...don't tell me we're the only ones left.

MarsFlytrap: Well, it's not like most of us survived after Konoha's Akatsuki killing spree.

PHISH: Damn...it's so boring here. I can't believe I'm saying that I miss the noise Hidan entailed...

_MouThWash joined the room_

PHISH: What the~

MarsFlytrap: ???

MouThWash: Hey assholes!

PHISH: How...

MarsFlytrap: Is this even possible? I thought we took out every dead member's computers and sold them at the surplus shop for funds...

MouThWash: I'm not fucking dead, wimp!

MarsFlytrap: But how would you log in a computer if you are decapitated and buried more than six feet down the ground?

PHISH: Zetsu saw you in bits and pieces badmouth.

MouThWash: The fuck? Yeah right. Did your pea brain forget that I'm freaking IMMORTAL?

MarsFlytrap: Still won't explain why you're able to log in.

MouThWash: Fucking sonavabitchplant. Hey, speaking of bitch, where is the bitchy mod?

PHISH: She's helping "god" out there. Something about Naruto breaking in her origami tower.

MarsFlytrap: Low on the spoilers, Kisame.

PHISH: Okay, okay~

MouThWash: Anyone know what happened?

PHISH: Dunno. Something about whatever and whatever and yada yada.

MouThWash: Fucking bitch. Damn it whatever you say shark breath.

PHISH: Bit rich from Mr. Profanity.

MarsFlytrap: I'm outta here. White's telling me to join him.

PHISH: Dude, I dunno how you two get to work together.

MarsFlytrap: We actually don't.

MouThWash: Hey don't fucking ignore me you fuckers!

PHISH: I thought you were leaving, plant boy.

_MarsFlytrap left the room_

PHISH: Well, gtg.

MouThWash: Hey you! Don't ignore me! You dick!

_PHISH left the room_

MouThWash: Damn you dicks.

_PaperRoses joined the room_

PaperRoses: Hm? This is odd..

MouThWash: Ha! The bitch is here!

PaperRoses: Haha, I knew something odd was going on here.

MouThWash: Damn you fucking whore of the leader!

PaperRoses:…

MouThWash: Hey, why the dots??! Fucking curve to the point bitch.

PaperRoses: How did you log in anyway? WHY DO YOU EVEN EXIST?

MouThWash: I'M FUCKING IMMORTAL, SLUT!

PaperRoses: Don't call me that, Hidan! Anyway, how could you get out of that grave the Konoha boy dug you in??

MouThWash: I'M FUCKING IMMORTAL, SLUT!

MouThWash: I'M FUCKING IMMORTAL, SLUT!

MouThWash: I'M FUCKING IMMORTAL, SLUT!

MouThWash: I'M FUCKING IMMORTAL, SLUT!

MouThWash: I'M FUCKING IMMORTAL, SLUT!

PaperRoses: I told you not to call me that.

MouThWash: I'M FUCKING IMMORTAL, SLUT!

MouThWash: I'M FUCKING IMMORTAL, SLUT!

PaperRoses: Stop spamming the chatroom, Hidan!

MouThWash: I'M FUCKING IMMORTAL, SLUT!

MouThWash: I'M FUCKING IMMORTAL, SLUT!

MouThWash: I'M FUCKING IMMORTAL, SLUT!

MouThWash: I'M FUCKING IMMORTAL, SLUT!

PaperRoses: I'm banning you!!!

MouThWash: I'M FUCKING IMMORTAL, SLUT!

MouThWash: WAIT WAIT WAIT NOO I'm telling you why!!!

PaperRoses: That's better. *cancels ban*

MouThWash: I'm possessing the stupid Konoha brat who dug the grave for me.

PaperRoses: Oh really?

MouThWash: Yeah! Really! Mother Father die I cross my throat!

PaperRoses: Fine, fine. Man you're lame.

MouThWash: Anyway, where's fucking leader anyway? Sleeping in his room after you did him?

PaperRoses: UGH HIDAN please. Shut up.

MouThWash: HM????!

PaperRoses: He just died, idiot!

MouThWash: Oops.

PaperRoses: YOU EVEN BADMOUTH THE DeAD! You're the worst!

_Katsuyo joined the room_

Katsuyo: Hello world, yeah!

PaperRoses: Erm, who are you?

Katsuyo: It's me, Katsuyo, yeah~

MouThWash: Fucking what~ I though slugs can't type!

Katsuyo: I'm no slug~ You're mistaking me for the Godaime Hokage's summon. I'm Katsuyo, yeah!~

PaperRoses: eh?

Katsuyo: Heyy~~ Anybody home, yeah??

PaperRoses: Do you even know where you are, Katsuyo?

MouThWash: YEAH BITCH~ We can track you and kill you you know.

PaperRoses: Though he said it in a different way, yes, Katsuyo, we can do that.

Katsuyo: why would you kill your own gangmate, yeah??~~

PaperRoses: oh?

Katsuyo: OUCH.

PaperRoses: OH.

MouThWash: LOL bitch it's Deidara. He says yeah after his fucking sentences.

PaperRoses: I see. Why, hello there Deidara.

Katsuyo: I'm BACK, YEAH!

PaperRoses: You weren't even registered in the chatroom last time I checked, Deidara.

Katsuyo: I just hacked it :D

MouThWash: LOL FUCKING DEAD ARE RISING

MouThWash: LOL FUCKING DEAD ARE RISING

PaperRoses: There he goes again.

MouThWash: LOL FUCKING DEAD ARE RISING

MouThWash: LOL FUCKING DEAD ARE RISING

MouThWash: LOL FUCKING DEAD ARE RISING

Katsuyo: He's getting annoying, yeah.

MouThWash: LOL FUCKING DEAD ARE RISING

MouThWash: LOL FUCKING DEAD ARE RISING

MouThWash: LOL FUCKING DEAD ARE RISING

PaperRoses: And I thought you were dead, Deidara.

Katsuyo: LOL seriously even Plantface can get mistakes at times, yeah.

PaperRoses: So you really didn't die?

Katsuyo: Yeah.

MouThWash: LOL FUCKING DEAD ARE RISING

MouThWash: LOL FUCKING DEAD ARE RISING

MouThWash: LOL FUCKING DEAD ARE RISING

MouThWash: LOL FUCKING DEAD ARE RISING

Katsuyo: Annoying, yeah.

PaperRoses: Shall we ban him?

MouThWash: LOL FUCKING DEAD ARE RISING

MouThWash: WAIT NO

_MouThWash left the room_

PaperRoses: That's better.

Katsuyo: :D Definitely better, yeah.

PaperRoses: Anyway, Deidara, how did you survive?

Katsuyo: I just collected all the clay that was my body and lived :D

PaperRoses: I see. If only Pein could do that too.

Katsuyo: Wait, Leader-san is dead?

PaperRoses: Sadly, yes.

Katsuyo: Aww…What's going to happen to Akatsuki, then?

PaperRoses: I don't know.

Katsuyo: What about the beasts?

PaperRoses: Do you want to help me put them in you?

Katsuyo:WHAT??!

PaperRoses: I know a technique so you'll survive.

Katsuyo: Really? COOL.

PaperRoses: KK. Meet me in HQ ASAP.

Katsuyo: Will do now, yeah!

_Katsuyo left the room_

PaperRoses: So we could save the world from Madara after all. *smiles*

_PaperRoses left the room_

That's all, minna! Might continue, might not!


End file.
